The storms of life, they come and go. Sometimes they are few and far between and sometimes they are one right after the other. We wonder if there will be any relief from constant hits to our psyche, our soul, our spirit.
We would like to be able to pick ourselves up and brush ourselves off and begin again, but the reality is that the trials we face don’t necessarily get easier to handle particularly as we age. Our energy wanes, and our ability to bounce back after each crisis begins to wear on us as we deal with pain, sorrow, anguish and loss.
Having a partner helps to ease the burden of a crisis. When my father passed away I had Chuck to help me to get through what I considered to be the worst time in my life. Watching my dad deteriorate and eventually die, was just unbearable. My husband helped me to shoulder the burden of those dark days. Four years later, when Chuck passed I longed for the comfort of my father’s words and although I had family I could talk to, and bereavement care, I had to lift myself up out of my grief and it wasn’t easy. It’s a mind game, telling yourself that it will all be okay while trying to build a new life around the loss. I had to figure things out on my own, but I did have a desire to meet that challenge as I recreated a new life. It was trial and error for sure, but I did move forward and out of the depths of grief.
How will we survive someone’s bad behavior, sudden illness, a breakup, loss of a job, the death of a loved one? I would suggest that we try to compartmentalize and deal with each of life’s challenges that come our way individually. For instance should your daughter come home from college and announce that she’s not interested in attending school anymore, the day after your best friend was diagnosed with a terminal illness, all this a week after you’ve been informed that your department at work is being eliminated along with your position, how will you deal with all of these challenges at once?
When problems seem never-ending, you must first breathe, then sit and tackle each issue individually. You don’t want to lump everything together as that will only make you feel overwhelmed, anxious and chaotic. Most importantly, this goes for any “storms that you may face”, don’t forget to ask for help, particularly for the most difficult situations. I have a tendency bear my burdens alone as I don’t want to bother others. I used to feel that only I could solve most problems that arose in my life. But I have learned that sometimes another perspective can help to lighten the burden of all the tough and sometimes cataclysmic events that take place, more times than not, out of the blue.
We think that some situations are unsolvable and that they will last forever, but that is just not true. One must reach in or reach out to find answers and support. I have lived long enough to know that each crisis will one day pass, although many times not immediately, but eventually there will be answers and a peek of sun on the horizon .
